I Believe

It is probably too soon to say something about the situation, but I know that if I will wait any longer I won't be able to say anything at all anymore. This blog page now feels a bit like a joke to me. When I set it up months ago I was so excited for what was going to be the summer of our lives. Nine shows with my guys, our guys. It was going to be the journey of a lifetime and lots of memories were going to be made.

Then Richie disappeared and we spent weeks discussing the possibilities but there only ever were two. He would be back in time for Europe and all would be forgotten, or he wouldn't be back. Two blogs ago I shared my opinion and most of it hasn't changed. Except for the fact that I was wrong about the most important thing. I believed, but it didn't help. Not this time around. He is not coming back for the European tour.

A huge disappointment? Well that is one way to put it. I am heartbroken, upset and hurt, just like most of you out there, but will I change my summer plans? No. Because I am not just a Richie girl. I am a Bon Jovi girl and I care about all the members equally and truth is that most of them are still going to be there. I am going to miss Richie more than I'll be able to put into words but I respect the other members for carrying on. And I feel like I have no other choice but to do the exact same thing. I just hope that Richie will speak up soon, and I don't even want to know the exact reason, a few words are enough. 'I am healthy and fine, I am still a member of the band and I will be back when the time is right.' I have been patient with him and I do respect his privacy but I do feel that we deserve to hear something like that.

I know it is going to take a while to get used to the idea of him not being there and I don't think I ever really will because it just won't be the same. I don't know how I will react when I see them without our guitarist to make it all complete and I know it's going to be hard and probably painful. However, I will try to make the best of it. I am still going to see the most amazing cities, meet up with the most amazing people that I am fortunate enough to call my friends and I am still going to see most of the guys that mean the world to me.

And meanwhile I'll just keep hoping that someday, very soon, all will be alright again.