London: blood on blood, one on one

9 shows, 9 cities, 7 countries and it's all over.

Four days and counting and I feel... weird. The only thing I did today was get up and then I took a shower at 18:30. That's literally it. I meant to do a lot of things... I wanted to start framing tickets, unpack my last few bags, start on a photo album, I wanted to go to the library, text a few friends, go out, do anything... but it just didn't happen. Instead I just sat here in my room. I think I'm a bit lost.

It's alright though, I knew it was going to happen because I remember it damn well from previous tours, but still it's always just a little worse when you reached that point again. This may sound dramatic to those who have never toured like this but just imagine that for weeks in a row you see the most amazing cities, spend all your time with people who understand exactly what you are feeling, they are your friends, and almost every single night you get to see your heroes play live and then from one day to the next it's all gone again... And that is where I am right now. I'm not even very sad (yet), everything just feels... weird.

I have to go back to work tomorrow, which is probably the last step back into the real world but maybe it's a good thing... That will force me to get up and do stuff...  but before I'm ready to do so I first have to write this last blogpost about London.

After we (finally!) managed to get Diamond circle tickets for London we decided right away that we wouldn't queue. The Fanclub trip was going in before anyone else anyway and there were about 200 of them so there was no point. We would go for the back of the pit again. On show day I was extra happy with our DC because it was really really hot in London. First we slept until ten, then we went to the venue to pick up our Golden Circle Fanclub tickets and hand them to the buyers (I think we literally were the only ones who managed to sell GC after DC went back on sale so thank you very much!) and after that we walked around London for a while, had dinner at the Hard Rock Café and we went back to Hyde Park at four o'clock.

The first thing we did was find the BJ merch stand because this would be our last chance to buy a t-shirt. We spent the whole tour trying to figure out what t-shirt we should buy and I really didn't like any of them that much (except for the red one but that one was made for the North America tour, I mean why?!) but eventually I bought the grey one with the tour dates on the back. I love t-shirts that have the dates on it, especially when I went to nine of them. ;-) Not that anybody else knows that, but it's just a nice thought I guess...

Anyway, after a while we went into the pit to say hi to our friends but we didn't stay long. It was like a sauna in front of the stage where there was no wind or shade at all (99 in the shade would have been the perfect theme song of this tour), so we said hi and bye and decided to come back as late as we possibly could. In the shade beside the stage then, we sat down and got visits from a lot of our friends who all wanted to escape the heat as well and one by one they sat with us for a while for a chat and we all avoided that one subject. 'The Last One'. It was when I sat there though, and spoke to everyone again, that I realised how close to the end we now were and it scared me so much. I remember tweeting something like: "everyone's here and it's so nice and I'm so scared" and that basically sums it up.

Time went by quickly though and an hour later we were in the pit awaiting the start of the show one last time. It was sad that Sofia (the stage) wasn't there anymore but hey, at least the guys were. The show started at around 7:30 and luckily it had cooled down a bit. The first song that night was Rocking All Over The World and I was thankful for that because that's just a happy, feel-good song that always works. After that Bad Name and then, for the first time this European tour, Water was the third one. For a moment I was afraid they would skip it but thank God they didn't! The show continued like it had done almost every night with Raise Your Hands, Born To Be My Baby (including a screw up from poor Phil and a big fat stink eye from JBJ) then Lost Highway and It's My Life and the first part of the show actually was absolutely fine. I was enjoying it and at that point I probably still hoped it would stay that way. Except for the fact that we had the most annoying girls in front of us though. Drunk girls who kept talking and taking photos of themselves. The thought that I would have them in front of me for the rest of that last show made me kind of sad and frustrated but luckily they disappeared when Jon went out on the catwalk during Bad Medicine.

During Saturday Night it all began to slowly sink in for the first time I guess. I love that song and some of the lyrics made it impossible for me to ignore it any longer. I looked up at the guys, at Jon with his guitar and then I looked around me, so many familiar faces who were all thinking the same thing. Please don't let this ever end. But it had to and the show continued, every song they finished was one step closer to the last one. We didn't get many surprises like is Lisbon two years ago but it was alright. We all know the reason why...

Then during Captain Crash the confetti mess reached a new high and it was so much fun. Especially because we used the moment to throw confetti in the bags and perfect hairdo's of the annoying girls in front of us and the rest of the main set went on like it had done all tour. One last countdown during Sleep, one last jukebox, one last it's alright.

The first song of the first encore was Dry County, amazing and definitely Phil's best performance of that song, like he tweeted the day after! I recorded Wanted for the video thing they are doing and that is about the only video I made all tour. (except for the 20 seconds of Diamond Ring we got... well... somewhere. Was it Berne? I'm not sure) Love's The Only Rule was amazing, I didn't expect them to play it anymore so I was so glad they did. I love that song so much, it always takes me right back to that moment in Hershey, USA when we first heard it live during that magical trip. It'll always be a special song! Then Have A Nice Day (pff) and Prayer. At that point I started to fear that it could be the last song of the night... I remember standing there thinking: what if this really is the end.... What if they wave one last time and walk off and leave... But that didn't happen. Jon and the guys weren't ready yet either.

No, it was time for Always, the moment I feared all night. I think i've mentioned it before in my blogs but somehow I've been struggling with that song all tour and that night it was the worst and the best song they could have played. I think I managed to hold back the tears for a line or two and then they came. I literally just broke down and started to cry. Real bad. And because of that Nikita started as well. It got to a point where the woman beside me held me for a while to make sure I was alright, that was really sweet. I didn't even try to explain it to her though, I just nodded and tried to smile.

It continued during These Days and for a second I was afraid that I was actually going to throw up. I wasn't hysterically, not at all. In fact I just stood there with my hands pressed against my chest, singing along while the tears came down and I felt so sad, so sad to have to let them go and at the same time I was also so happy and thankful. Blood on Blood was the last song and they couldn't have picked a more perfect ending of this tour. Blood on blood, one on one. And that was really it. Jon didn't say as much as he did in Lisbon but I don't think there was anything left to say. The band hugged each other and stood there with their arms around each other for a few seconds as if they were saying: we made it, we did it, and it was so beautiful. They did it, we all did it together.

After the show we held a big crying party in the pit. We said our goodbyes to everyone, thanked each other took pictures, hugged each other one last time and smiled through our tears. It was magical until the security disturbed the party and made us all leave the pit. I think they didn't understand why everyone was being so dramatical... :')

That night I was afraid to go to sleep because that meant it would really be over but there was no way back. It already was anyway... We flew home on Saturday and since then I'm at home, confused, happy, sad and feeling weird and thankful.

So I guess now it's time for the most frustrating bit because I know even before I start that I will never find the right words to describe how thankful I really am to have this band in my life. And it's not just them... it's everything around it as well. They have given me so much. We talked about it many times this tour but it's so special to be able to share this with so many people who understand exactly how you feel and what it is like. So thank you everyone for the chats, the laughs, the hugs, the memories!

And then there is of course the boys. I have tried to thank them every single tour and I'm going to do it again. It has been different, it has been hard and difficult at times but I enjoyed it more than I ever thought I would be able to. Sure, there were times where I missed Richie badly. Especially during songs like I'll Be There For You, Wanted and Dry County and then thorough the shows because the magic between Jon and Richie wasn't there, obviously. And I hated that, but I didn't allow myself to think about it too much and Jon didn't allow anyone to think about it too much either. I have always been a JBJ girl, no matter how much I love Richie and the rest of the band, but this tour he gained so much more respect from me as well. I have so much respect for what he pulled off this tour. It wasn't easy, not at all, but he did it. Like no one else could have done it. Then there was Phil X, who had the impossible task of filling in for the one and only Richie Sambora, but he did an amazing job. He is an amazing guitarist and stayed in the background but he was having so much fun that it was impossible not to love him. The smiles, the interaction with the fans... so amazing! It was also beautiful to see how Jon, Tico and David seemed closer to each other than ever before.

And I guess that's it then... So many memories, so many adventures, so many tears, smiles with my friends and the best band in the world and there is nothing left to say. Well... there is, there always is ;-but I'm gonna stop it right here. I'll keep this blog online and I might post a few more things later on as well because even though this tour ended it never really will for me. Thank you for reading this blog, I hope you enjoyed it. :-)

See you all soon, here or on the road with the guys somewhere !

Love, Anjelica

bye bye bye